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That plan never works

I have instructed my wife to promptly tie me to a kitchen chair the next time I suggest something like the following: “Hey, I think I’ll hop on the roof first thing in the morning, before it heats up, and fix that leak in the cooler drain.”

Later, following six hours of climbing up the ladder and then climbing down the ladder, four trips to Home Depot, absurd amounts of innovative cursing, and sunburned toes, the cooler no longer leaks.

Ah. Truly, this is the Joy of Owning a Home.