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No, it really is not

No, seriously, it’s not Darwin’s theory:

Could I please enlist the help of any scientists of probable cause out there?

If I put my wife in front of the mirror three times a day and have my blind friend shoot colored paint balls at the mirror, how long would I have to wait for the splatter hitting her face to have her make-up applied properly? I think it would take a long time, but that’s Darwin’s theory.

Regarding another of Darwin’s theories, could I please enlist the help of some computer geniuses out there?

If I program my computer to have one earthquake every day; two category-five hurricanes three times every four days; five category-five tornadoes six times every seven days; eight nine-hour, 10-inch hale storms every 11 days; 12 13-inch monsoon rain storms every 14 days; and 15 16-inch snowstorms every 17 days, and make them all happen in the area of the granite mountain El Capitan, how long will it take to make a replica of Mount Rushmore?

I think it will take a long time, but that’s Darwin’s theory.

For another of Darwin’s theories, could I please enlist the help of theoretical engineers?

If I dismantle my Toyota truck and put it in a large roller drum and continuously let it roll, how long will it take before I can drive my truck again? I think it will take a long time, but that’s Darwin’s theory.