No, seriously, it’s not Darwin’s theory:
Could I please enlist the help of any scientists of probable cause out there?
If I put my wife in front of the mirror three times a day and have my blind friend shoot colored paint balls at the mirror, how long would I have to wait for the splatter hitting her face to have her make-up applied properly? I think it would take a long time, but that’s Darwin’s theory.
Regarding another of Darwin’s theories, could I please enlist the help of some computer geniuses out there?
If I program my computer to have one earthquake every day; two category-five hurricanes three times every four days; five category-five tornadoes six times every seven days; eight nine-hour, 10-inch hale storms every 11 days; 12 13-inch monsoon rain storms every 14 days; and 15 16-inch snowstorms every 17 days, and make them all happen in the area of the granite mountain El Capitan, how long will it take to make a replica of Mount Rushmore?
I think it will take a long time, but that’s Darwin’s theory.
For another of Darwin’s theories, could I please enlist the help of theoretical engineers?
If I dismantle my Toyota truck and put it in a large roller drum and continuously let it roll, how long will it take before I can drive my truck again? I think it will take a long time, but that’s Darwin’s theory.
The author of this letter-to-the-editor (giving my hometown a bad name, by the way) signs “Darwin Osborn” – which suggests one possible explanation: it’s his own hair-brained theory.
But another: Mr. Osborn writes from deep in the land of Zion where underwear is sacred and Native Americans have decended from Jews. It’s not his fault he’s like this.
— Jeff Apr 30, 03:36 PM #
I think that guy’s wife must wear a lot of makeup.
— Jim May 1, 02:22 PM #
Careful, Alan. Keep writing posts like this, and you’ll become a crank like me.
— Drek May 2, 12:52 PM #